April 8, 2017. 8:47 A.M.
[[Continue]]<img src="https://ectorfloresg.wixsite.com/mysite/copy-of-work">
[[Where am I?|What happened?]]
[[What happened?]]
*Through the small window you can see his silhouette. You pick up on chatter but it is as if you are wearing ear muffs.*
[You]: Where do I go from here...
[[Next|Character Selection. ]] [Doctor]: Good morning. Don't worry, your parents are just outside the door. I'll have a psychiatrist come check on you but for now, I have other patients to attend to.
*Doctor exits the room.*
[[Next|Behind the Door.]]*Let's start with your name, what is your name?*
[[Eleanor]]
[[~~Alex~~|Trans-male character]]
[[~~Jerry~~|~~Male Latino Character~~]]
[Dr. Mary]: You lost a lot of blood. The doctors and nurses helped clean you up last night. I have prescrbed you some ibuprofen for the pain. Do you remember anything from last night?
[[...]]
[[It's starting to come back to me now.]]Doctor: I'm concerened for your safety, are you ready to tal--
''[[IM NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT IT.|...]]''[Dr. Mary]: It's okay I understand how difficult this might be for you. In the meantime, I would like to invite you and your family to sit down and discuss an intervention plan.
[[What's an intervention plan?]]
[[What's that going to do for me?]][Dr. Mary]: Well, you see. Many people who attempt suicide end up in an emergency room for immediate treatment. Only a few survivors get the follow-up care they need at a time where they are considered “high-risk.”
[Dr. Mary]: Studies show that a simple intervention conducted by staff in emergency departments can reduce the risk of future attempts. The intervention involves creating a safety plan for each patient and following up with phone calls after discharge.
''[Narrator]: The interesting thing about the intervention plan is that it is a relatively brief intervention and can be used in a lot of different health care settings. It can be provided by a physician, a nurse or a social worker and even a school counselor.''
[Dr. Mary]: *Is this something that interests you?*
[[What's that going to do for me?]] [Dr. Mary]: First, we'll have someone talk to you and understand your warning signs for a suicide attempt. *Dr. Mary points to herself.* Since you have grappled with being suicidal thoughts in the past, you should be familiar with some of your warning signs.
[Dr. Mary]: For example, someone might say, "I find that I'm often staying in my room, not answering the phone when it rings, not answering texts, not answering emails." That could be a warning sign. Others might have repeated thoughts that they're not worthy.
[Dr. Mary]: The next step is for the patient (you) to come up with a set of coping strategies with help from the clinician to help get through moments of intense suicidal ideation.
[[I see.]][Dr. Mary]: The coping strategy could be something as simple as playing video games, going on a walk at night or talking to a loved one. If people contemplating suicide can distract themselves with something they enjoy doing, they can bypass that narrow window during which suicidal thoughts can overpower them. ''Remember, the passage of time is your friend.''
*You sit there, digesting the information you just received. The doctor gives you time to think about the excerises she mentioned before leaving the room.
[Dr. Mary]: Well we have you for a couple more hours. I can talk more in a bit. *Checks watch.* In the meantime, your family is in the waiting room. I'll let them in.
[[Scream internally]]
[~~Mentally prepare yourself~~]
[[Turn on TV, to avoid awkward interaction]][You]: What an embarrassment. What's my father going to think? How can I face my family after this. My anxiety is killing me. I need to distract myself.
*Turns on the TV to avoid awkward interaction*
[[Continue |Turn on TV, to avoid awkward interaction]]^^TV headline reads,^^ Celebrity personality Isabelle Lima has been found dead in her California home.
According to the Laz County Coroner, officials received a 911 call at 10:47 a.m. on Wednesday that Lima had been located unconscious and not breathing inside her residence...
[[Continue watching]]
[[Change channel]]
"An investigation into the cause, manner, and circumstances of the death is currently underway by the Investigations and Coroner Divisions of the Laz County Sheriff's Office," the TV reads.
[Reporter]: "At this time, the Sheriff's Office Coroner Division suspects the death to be a suicide, but a comprehensive investigation must be completed before a final determination is made," the Laz County Coroner said in an official statement.
[[Turn off TV]]
[[Change channel]]
More on the death of Lima after these short statements by a trained counselor in suicide prevention.
''Announcement: Suicide is now the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Despite the popular misconception, December and January do not report the highest rates of suicide. The holidays usually have lower rates of suicdes. The month that reports the highest rate of suicide is April. In some years, there is also a measurable rise in suicides in late summer and early fall.''
If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
*En Español: 1-888-628-9454.*
*Deaf and hard of hearing: 1-800-799-4889.*
or the Crisis Text Line by texting 741741.
[[Turn off TV]] As *your father, mother, and siblings enter the room* there is tension in the air. Your parents were working their night jobs when you cut your wrist and forearm. Their worried about you but they won't say it. They're more focused on how you could try and kill yourself with your brother in the house. Why did you let your brothers find you like this? He's only 4 years old. They don't say it now but they're worried about what people are going to think about them. They're embarrassed, but why is that their #1 concern?
[[Next scene.|untitled]]"Gracias a Dios por Medi-Cal (Thank God for Medi-Cal)," your mother states under her breath.
''Eleanor (internally): Right. How selfish of me. My parents can't afford this!''
In conversation with your mother, your father states, "Que vamos hacer con esta nina?"
(what are we going to do with this child?)
~~[[Pretend you didn't hear]]~~
[[Say, "I heard that"]]Your father refuses to look at you. He's ashamed. After long moments of awkward silence, he finally states, "Haven't we done everything for you?"
[[Keep listening]]
I didn't cross the border and put your mother through hell for you to give up because of some stupid boy.
[[End Scene|Scene 2]]Before you begin...
Remember:
''You Are Not Alone!''
If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
*En Español: 1-888-628-9454.*
*Deaf and hard of hearing: 1-800-799-4889.*
or the Crisis Text Line by texting 741741.
[[Start]]Narrator: Great, nice to meet you Eleanor. Now do you identify as Male, Female or do you prefer not to say?
[[Female|Eleanor ethnicity ]]
Nice to meet you Jerry. Now, do you identify as Male, Female or prefer not to say?
[[Male| Jerry]][Narrator]: ``Great, nice to meet you Alex. Now, do you identify as Male, Female or prefer not to say?``
[[Male|Alex]]
*And your ethnicity?*
[[Mixed]]*And your ethnicity?*
[[Hispanic| Male]] [Narrator]: ''And your ethnicity?''
[[Hispanic? I guess.| Introduction of Psychiatrist]] This segment is under construction. Come back later!
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Go back to [[Character Choice|Character Selection. ]] [Dr. Mary]: The address I have on file for you is for Laz county. Is this still correct?
[[No, I just moved recently.]][Narrator]: ``Could you elaborate?``
[[I am Indian/White]] This segment is currently under construction. I'd like to use this time to give a special shotout to Evan for being vulenrable and sharing his knowledge on other marginalized communities. His input has helped provide an intersectional approach to this issue.
See [[Character planning]]
``or``
Go back to [[Character Choice|Character Selection. ]] [Dr. Mary]: I see. Well, what's your new address? I'll be sure to update this information in the system. In the meantime, is there anything else I can do for you?
Maybe some more apple sauce or pudding? *she says jokingly*
[[My left arm hurts.]] (name, description, etc.)
20 years old, trans male, he/him/his
Appearance: 5’4” (testosterone doesn’t make you taller)
Half Indian, half white. Ian has the lived experience of passing as a person of color, but is racially ambiguous for the most part and usually passes as Mexican.
just started his testosterone treatment. Has short, brown kind of curly hair.
Wears a binder all the time because he has a large chest, that causes back problems.
In terms of clothing style, black jeans, vans or docs, lots of striped t shirts, black windbreaker or black denim jacket.
Dad was raised Catholic in India because of colonization, so there was no ethnic religion to pass down.
Alex's only real connection to culture is Indian food.
Alex's has to deal with an incredibly abusive, controlling, and toxic Dad.
Alex's cut him off when he moved to college.
Now he doesnt have much access to their heritage, and struggles with his racial identity.
• Hadn’t been exposed to any other trans people until near the end of high school after discovering trans youtubers, realized trans people existed and soon after realized he was also trans.
• Tried coming out to mom as trans a few times, always met with “no you’re not, stop that” and having his name and pronouns completely ignored.
• Once he moved to college, he’s completely out to everyone
[[Problems, obstacles, and challenge]] trans people face (many of which contribute to depressive episodes and potential subsequent suicidal ideation)
``or``
Go back to [[Character Choice|Character Selection. ]]Being misgendered every day, even after introducing yourself with your pronouns. A constant micro-aggression that constantly wears away at you.
The concept of passing politics – “passing” means appearing to other people as a certain gender. Someone shouldn’t have to “look like” a particular gender to be that gender. Plus there is no right way to look like any gender. Passing is a concept that leads to consistent misgendering for those who do not or have not transitioned.
Other micro-aggressions: Have you gotten the surgery? What’s in your pants?
Misunderstandings: related to transition – not all trans people can or want to transition. Access to health care, safety in terms of family and social circles, and disabilities (among other things) can all affect a person’s access to transition.
Social transition: Telling people you want them to use a different name and/or different pronouns.
Legal transition: Changing legal name and gender, new passport, new everything. It’s very expensive and time-consuming (not everyone can afford it)
Medical transition: hormones are one way to transition, “look more cis”
Over time, voice will drop + facial hair = strangers will call you by your appropiate gender, "he."
There is also surgical transition. There are a lot of different surgeries, and there isn’t one uniform “the surgery”. There are of course genital surgeries. Chest surgeries to add or remove.
Surgery is usually more difficult to access than hormones, and many people have to wait months or years to even get them.
can be used to show how much he yearns to change but doesnt have access.
Social acceptance
o Family – This is always one of the most difficult ones. “you’re not actually trans, you’re just confused, you’ve always been a woman”. Refuses to use name or pronouns. For a lot of trans people, family can definitely be the hardest part because they are sometimes financially dependent on them so some people are forced to stay in the closet or have their identity ignored.
o School – in high school, coming out was also difficult. I came out to my entire senior class (that was, to be fair, 40 people) at once using they/them pronouns. A lot of people and teachers took a long time to switch, and a lot just didn’t care at all and never tried. In college, I was fully out as Evan and using he/him pronouns. Being involved with the LGBT community on campus gave me spaces where I felt safe being out. There’s no one in college that I’m not out to, but this can cause some issues. While I lived in Rainbow House, the LGBT dorm here, there were still plenty of incredibly transphobic people who would misgender me constantly. Classmates will, too. Also, I can’t count how many times I’ve been misgendered by professors.
o Another thing about coming out to people is that it takes annoyingly long for people to start using the correct name and pronouns. Even if people don’t mean to, the microagressions still hurt every time. Especially when someone has known for weeks or even months and they won’t get it right.
o Also, I’m terrified of using gendered public bathrooms. Since I have been on testosterone for as long as I have, I still “pass” sometimes as a cis man, but I also still “pass” to some as a cis woman. I hate using the women’s restroom and misgendering myself, and I also worry about passing as a man in the bathroom and someone having an issue with me. But I’m also scared to use the men’s room in case I don’t pass as a man and someone would also have a problem with me. This is a huge issue for trans people (and is why there need to be more gender-neutral bathrooms).
o We face high rates of violence, so we live in fear of that.
• Non-binary erasure is also a huge issue. It fits under the trans umbrella, and everyone needs to shift toward using gender neutral language
[[Mental health]]Based on a true experience.
Bipolar
Manic episode symptoms: less need for sleep, less appetite, speaking a lot, loudly, or rapidly, easily distracted, increase in risky behavior, rapid thinking, increased irritability, hypersexuality, unexplained constant energy
"Basically, a high energy state that can make it hard to stay focused on day to day stuff and be irresponsible. My biggest symptoms have always speaking quickly, ow appetite, and increase in risky behavior."
Depressive episode symptoms: decrease or increase in appetite, difficulty concentrating or remembering, fatigue, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, insomnia or oversleeping, loss of interest
"People usually know more about this than manic episodes. For both, the symptoms really vary from person to person. My biggest depression symptoms are usually oversleeping, overeating, and difficulty concentrating/remembering."
Mixed episodes: "these are the absolute worst and can be even more dangerous. One of my bipolar friends described it as “so depressed I want to kill myself, and so manic that maybe I’ll just do it”, and I think that’s something pretty relevant to the topic of this video game. Mixed episodes can have varying levels of harm, and some of mine haven’t been too bad, but those are usually when I’m at my worst."
Substance abuse: about 56% of people with bipolar have experienced some kind of substance addiction. 46% had abused alcohol or were addicted to alcohol. Alcohol is the most commonly abused substance by people who are bipolar.
source: https://www.dualdiagnosis.org/bipolar-disorder-and-addiction/
"Every bipolar person I know, with the exception of one person, has some kind of substance abuse issue. I have friends who are (or have been) alcoholics, who smoke tons of cigarettes, who smoke weed frequently, and I even have some who have been addicted to things like coke. Substance abuse is a real problem for people with bipolar, which can make a depressive or manic episode even worse, and it becomes a dangerous cycle."
[[On being trans and bipolar at the same time]]
The way bipolar affects my brain, mood, and actions intersects with the way my relationship to gender does. For Alex, it is stressful, annoying, and exhausting to deal with transphobia every day of, which can sometimes make the bipolar part of his brain worse.
The other issue is accessible healthcare for mentally ill trans people.''[Narrator]: The next morning.''
Eleanor lays in bed and has trouble getting up. She contemplates her converstaion with her doctor. She tries to play through her conversation with her parents but is not ready to take that emotional burden.
These past couple of days have been really hard on her. Eleanor use to enjoy hanging out with her friends and being able to call her boyfriend at any given time of the day. But of course, that was before she moved hundreds of miles away from her old home.
[[Remember what the Doctor said.]][You] The Doctor said something about keeping the mind occupied. Maybe I shoud finally go through all the moving boxes in my room. or I could just stay in bed, I dont have anywhere to be.
[[Stay in bed: scroll through social media meaninglessly]]
[[Search the boxes.]]''[Narrator]: While shuffling through the boxes, Eleanor finds her old Gameboy SP.''
[You]: Oh, wow. My old Gameboy! I thought I lost this.
''[Narrator]: Diana goes through a short period of nostalgia. For a second, everything else slips her mind as she remembers the time she went to go buy the gameboy at Circuit City with her parents. Times were simpler then.''
[You]: I was 6 years old when I got my first Gameboy. At the time, they were already releasing new systems. But-- we couldn't afford to buy the hot, new commodities.
[[Toss it aside]]
[[Check if it still has juice]][You]: What now...
[[Continue|Continue to lay in bed.]]''[Narrator]: You turn on the Gameboy but have no luck. In the cartridge you finds the game Tetris.''
[You]: Hm, sweet. Now to find that charger...
''[Narrator]: Eleanor continues searching through the boxes but this time, with a purpose.''
[[Look under the bed.]]
[[Keep searching boxes.]]''[Narrator]: *Eleanor looks under the bed.*''
[You]: Nope, not there.
[[Keep searching boxes.]]
[[Give up immediately.]]
[~~Go out and buy a charger.~~]''[Narrator]: *Eleanor continues searching for the charger in the boxes* and finds it under some photo frames.''
[You]: Aha! Got it.
[Narrator]: She proceeds to walk over to her bed and connects it to the nearest outlet. She turns on the Gameboy and plays Tetris.
''This goes on for about 10 minutes until the Gameboy starts to overheat.''
Tetris captured her full attention and for those short 10 minutes, she was thinking about nothing else.
*Eleanor comes back to reality.*
She turns off the Gameboy. *sighs*
[You]: What now? If I leave my room I'll be forced to do chores around the house.
[[Get up and shower.]]
[~~Call counselor.~~]
[[Continue to lay in bed.]][You]: I think, I'll just take another nap.
[[Doze off| Continue]]*Your father enters the room.*
"Elle!" *sees you are still sleeping in*
''Pinche Huevona, salte del cuarto!''
*Eleanor wakes up in a frenzy.*
[You]: What time is it?
''[Narrator]: Alarm clock shows it is 12:32 P.M.''
[You]: It's almost 1 o'clock, there's still time left...''[Narrator]: Eleanor loses interest particularly fast''
[You]:I guess there was a reason I stopped playing it. Maybe I should give most of my crap away. I don't have any use for it.
[[Put Gameboy back where you found it.]]
''or''
[[Give Gameboy to your little brother.]] ''[Narrator]:*Eleanor puts the Gameboy back into the box labeled, "Memories" and returns back to her bed.*''
[[Continue|Toss it aside]] Double-click this passage to edit it.Narrator: Great, now that we have that settled. Let us resume where we left of.
Here are some things you should know:
a. you just woke up in the hospital
b. the doctor was in a rush and could only tend to your wounds.
c. your parents are outside.
[[Continue|Mary]]As you lay in bed, you begin to stare at the dull hospital ceiling. You are brought back by the sound of the door opening. You cant quite see if its your parents or just a nurse.
Out from the narrow hallway that restricts your vision, emerges a tall, thin, brunette woman. She appears to be in her mid 40s, she wears glasses that are too big for her face and walks into the room with a purpose.
[Psychiatrist]: Hi Eleanor, I'm Dr. Mary. I am one of the psychiatrist for the Hope Garden Hospital. The doctor said you were ready for me? But before we begin, I would like to verify some of your personal information.
[[Next|Moving Depression]]*As you scroll through your phone, you remember why you dont go on social media apps anymore.
~~[[Stay connected: call a friend.]]~~
Your friends have probably moved on without you. They never really cared about you in the first place. Thats what happens once you got a boyfriend huh. Where is he again? Oh right, he has a new partner and seems to be handling the break up rather well.
[[I should probably burn those photos of them.|Search the boxes.]]